No clear winner in NHL vs. MSG war

MSG, owner of the New York Rangers, sues NHL, because of their monopolizing tendencies. New York Rangers would get fined $100 000 each day, if they wouldn't stop selling their promotional material under the table. The league would also like to get full control over their web site.

Now this might look rough, but my sources, close to NHL and Rangers, are telling me, that both parties are close to an agreement. NHL will get full access to their web site, but Rangers will still be able to host a couple of flash games for owner's nephews on the site, at least "Robot Commander IV" and "The Squirrels".

The negotiations regarding promo material were much tougher. Rangers will still be able to control 4 of their top selling products, male thongs printed with pictures of Sean Avery, Jaromir Jagr, Scott Gomez and Chris Drury respectively. NHL gets everything else. It's hard to believe that male thongs, weighting only 10 grams, would be selling that good in New York, but I guess Sean Avery has some of his magic left.

Kings trading for a goalie

A couple of top secret heavy insiders are reporting that Kings might be trying to trade for a goalie, for the first time this off-season. Lombardi's gardener told me, that he overheard a conversation between Kings GM and his wife:
- Dean, have you tried to trade for a goalie, honey?
- No, damn! I knew I forgot something!

My sources are telling me, that Lombardi asked for Jaro Halak (t2), Martin Gerber (t4) and Curtis Joseph (t3), while his wife was preparing a dinner.

Who might be on his way out? One of the Kings coaches emailed me a note, that one of the recent summer additions to the Kings really misses his mistress from the city he played in last season and has therefore requested a trade back. I'm not mentioning any names, do your math.

Kings Starting Goalie (t5)

With hours being left before the first NHL game of the season 07/08, analysts from all over the planet have been guessing which goalie will be starting for the Kings. Potvin, Hasek and Gerber are in my opinion amongst most probable out of the recently published article in SI: "List of 50 most probable Kings starting goalies."

However, my sources (close to Crawford) are saying, that Kings rookie goaltender Jonathan Bernier will almost certainly be the starting goalie. If you want to bet, go ahead, and don't forget, where you heard it first.

Niedermayer's Retirement

My sources from the Disneytown told me an amazing piece of information regarding Scott's retirement. Apparently one of the best defencemen in the league has only one condition for another year in Ducks uniform - Getzlaf to become a vegetarian. Ducks head animator and cartoonist Heshley Quakson told me about the incidents both players were having for the whole season. Niedermayer had been complaining frequently about Getzlaf having bad breath during the games. The heavy steak smell was driving him crazy and farting between the periods was making the things only worse.

Getzlaf has already made clear he can't quit steakes, but is willing to eat cereals on matchdays.

JMFJ trade? (t2)

Sources close to Kings management report of a big trade between Ducks and Kings. Apparently Lombardi has been trying hard to get Corey Perry and the Ducks would let him go for rookie D-man Jack Johnson.

Part of the Kings organization still can't sleep at night, because of a draft blunder a couple of years ago, when they chose Brian Boyle over Corey Perry. Austrian fortune teller told GM Lombardi, that Kings can get rid of bad aura only by correcting this mistake from the past. The other solution was to pay her $10000, jump 7 times over a dead duck and eat it with the feathers. Dean grabbed the phone right away.